Tuesday, April 14, 2009

George Forman really disappoints..

for all you fellow gourmet chefs out in the world. i would NOT recommend using the george forman grill for grilled cheese. it's it mucho gross. why bother calling it a grill if you can't grill CHEESE!!!!

as my first time using the george forman grill..i am highly disappointed. besides the fact that that shit takes like 5 minutes to warm up and it doesnt even tell you when the food is done. i thought it would require NO energy from me. i guess i need to use my 5 star chef-ness to some use. no more ramen noodles for dinner..now i'm just going to george forman everything...except cheese

Monday, April 13, 2009

I want I want I want

I am slowly (QUICKLY) becoming a major worrier. I am constantly worrying about getting old! i'm only 24 and I freak out everytime i look in the mirror. I'm dreading under eye bags..that's my newest freak out. but wrinkles and bad skin when i'm old ay yi yi. no no no. I want the clarisonic brush soooo bad. but that shiz is like 150-200 bones. ugh. anyway. an awesome blog is giving it away! cross your fingers for me

damn pipe

so my first day of unemployment has consisted of me..redecorating and fixing the STOOPID pipe in the basement that is all jacked up and spewing water all over the floor. since i'm clearly the man in the house, i took it upon myself to go to home depot and pick some pipe fixer upper crap. And when a worker asked if I needed help..I said NO...then picked up the first thing that looked like it might help because i did NOT want to show my defeat...
and now i've put off using this crap..since it probably won't work. and plus, once it's fixed what will i complain about then?!?!

Thursday, April 9, 2009


i'm going to perfect the art of applying fake eyelashezz as my new unemployment project.

until i feel like a tranny and give up after two minutes

True Life: I'm unemployed and blogging

I just got back from a job interview, and i am completely confused over how i was not offered the job after .02 seconds. I mean, i had all the skillzzz the position calls for. and Im hot so i can sell shit by just smiling. oh and i'm unemployed as of...today, so they should have thrown the new employees papers at me to sign the second i walked in the door. i'm going to ease my confusion with booze. in a fancy cup. fancy cups make it ok to drink at 730 on a thursday.

so as i was contemplated how i could not possibly have gotten the job, i apparently decided to sweat as i left the building. when i got home i stripped down and proceeded to semi clean the only part of the apartment worth it to clean..ya know, MY room. and i only put my shit away. my boyfriend can do it himself..naked.

as i popped open a 10 year old bottle of very fancy wine (any by 10 year old bottle of very fancy wine i mean the tall boy of miller lite sitting in the fridge since saturday) i turned on mtv...and the planets must have aligned specially for me this day, since MTV is playing..True Life: I'm addicted to porn.
i can't believe any person in their right mind would go on this episode...well, i can't believe anyone would go on any of the episodes..but addicted to porn..wow. how do you show your face ever again. how do you go on job interviews (who then dont hire you on the spot...)
i'd go on and on about this except for the fact that my chardonnay from 1974 needs a refill. 74 was a good wine year.